Political humor

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11:12 pm July 11th, 2016

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			Political humor - Hawk's Eyrie It's all about releasing your inner sociopath

merhawk


	Political humor
	An amusing (to me at least) take on it all: Donald Trump's Racist Tweet Problem-The Daily Show with Trevor Noah talons / Rake your talons / Link This entry was originally posted at http://merhawk.dreamwidth.org/559980.html. Please comment there. If you don't currently have a DW account, you can use OpenID or create your own account for free. Tags: anti-semitism, donald trump, elections, humor, i hate everything about this election, political humor

Hawk's Aerie


User: merhawk Name: Hawk

.sigs! .sigs! .sigs!

Do not meddle in the affairs of hawks, for we are fond of raking with our talons.
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You know, Obama, comedians agree, competency is our greatest enemy.
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"Okay, this completely violates Growing Man continuity."
"What do we do?"
"We're fanboys, aren't we? So we collect them all."
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"You provide the boobs, I provide the witty sayings."
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"They were slightly to the right of Atilla the Hun."
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"Who's there--?!"
"uhm... Avon callin'... how 'bout some make-up t'cover up that black eye?"
"WHAT black eye?"
"The one y'gonna have for sure if you don' give up right now, boy."
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Could somebody please balefire Robert Jordan? I'd like to get my life back.
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"Oh, won't you be my Black Hawk of Shienar?"
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"You like being that errant blip on the radar screen of humanity."
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"I know what you need. You need a blow job."
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"After a certain point, more bombs will only make the rubble bounce."
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"A PLASMA RIFLE 'gainst a BOYSENBERRY PIE? Can you find the crazed psychopath in this picture?"
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"LOVE makes you want to stab people? That isn't love. That's brain damage. Though I do understand your confusion between the two, some days..."
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Breasts are not a steering wheel.
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I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum.
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"...trust me, no one ever, ever, sees a predatory canabalistic bunny slipper closing in until its too late."
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"Put down the burrito."
"I'm going to kill you, man."
"Only if I eat it."
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If you want me to get off of you, you should stop chewing on me.
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Don't look at me, I have a chicken on my head.
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Do you know how bad a storyline is if you're hoping it's a clone?
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"And now I'm a God!"
"And now you're a coat rack."
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"You may not wear Cthulhu."
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"I'm the DA. I can arrest anyone."
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"We have not rutted debacherously in a fortnight for fear of our lives! We'll go."
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If you pave a deer, the terrorists have won.
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"I love you. I'd be upset if you were deleted."
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
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"It's annoying that we have to fight elections for our cause. The inconvience - having to get a majority."
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"You should never neglect to spank a wayward elf."
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"Don't look like much up close. Kind of... soft and squishing looking."
"There are people who would argue those are two of my best characteristics."
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"...And the NUMBER ONE reason why Emplate is a loser is... he kidnaps every member of Generation X... plans to chow down on our mutant powers... hangs yours truly upside down, yet somehow... He's STILL not as OBNOXIOUS as his younger sister, M!"
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The ephemerals have no help to give. Look at them!
They are deedless and cripple,
Strengthless as dreams.
All mortal kind is bound with a chain; All their eyes are darkened...
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Familiarity breeds children.
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The _exalted_ guardian of the fledgling few forging the fires of fan fiction.
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"Get naked. Then we'll talk."
"Some people call that sexual harrassment. You call that foreplay."
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"I knew that if I fucked you long enough, you'd eventually want it."
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Nothing can be as racy as a furry on speed.
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"Where'd you get dat extra bio-energy?"
"I stored it. Where'd you hide the bo-staff?"
"DON'T ask if y'don't want to know."
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"Are you a geek? You look like a geek."
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I've never tried glass blowing.
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Why try to govern a country when you can become a saint?
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The only beginning is birth and the only end is death - if you can't count on that, what can you count on?
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"We're baaack! Two bad, beautiful babes with *really* *big* *guns*!"
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Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
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He's a heroin addict with standards, damnit!
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"I'm not interested in sex right now."
"You're just saying that to get me horny."
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"But I do this to burritos!"
"You do not hump burritos."
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When all else fails, read the instructions.
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I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.
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"I could've been a lawyer but I just had too much heart."
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"The world read my lips... but my lips were crossed!"
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The Jeopardy category is: "What if Charles Manson played with dolls?"
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"We wouldn't have to be so mean if the world wasn't so stupid."
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Do not meddle in the affairs of models, for they are subtle and look better than you do.
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Xena looked longingly over Gabrielle's naked body. Muscular abs, chunky arms, small but firm breasts: these things made her tingle with desire.
Too bad Gabrielle was dead.
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Oh my god, there's so much breast.
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"Are you turned on now? How about now? Now?
"What is this, a Verizon commercial?"
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"They're Orcs. They're made to die."
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"What's with him?" "Intoxicated."
"And the guy with the big nose?"
"Hung over."
"Ah, you party in shifts. Very efficient."
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Peace through superior firepower.
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"I am Fire! And LIFE INCARNATE! Now and Forever -- I AM PHOENIX!"
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Through his pain, Logan remembers a myth of old.. of a beautiful bird that was so worshipped, it would rise reborn from death's ashes. But though he desperately wants to believe otherwise, he knows that his beloved Jean... is no Phoenix...
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Piglet isn't an Ajah. Piglet isn't a color. It's a *food*.
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"...and when you're a professional pirate - you'll be honest, brave, and free. The soul of decency. You'll be loyal and fair and on the square, but most importantly - when you're a professional pirate, you're always in the best of company!"
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"You're very garlicly. It's kind of sweet. It's like kissing a good pizza."
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"You know, they say pizza will get you through times without sex better than sex will get you through times without pizza!"
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It's hard to cut a knife with a plastic bagel.
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War is politics by other means.
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Do you know how hard it is to have a chicken on my large psychic head?
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PUBS? Where bad men DRINK and WOMEN get... get... PREGNANT?
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"Puppy is a better lover than you. Puppy knows how to treat a man."
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Men... can't live with 'em, but you can give them to the Reds!
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To reduce arms, a particular party must first build more in order to have negotiating advantage.
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That wasn't very romantic. But I'm feeling horny anyway."
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"...Crazy Latin dancing solo down in Harold Square. Oh, Havana, I've been searching for you everywhere. And though I'll never be there, I know what I would see there - I can always find my Cuban skies in Rosalinda's eyes..."
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"We'll stay, but if there's not some serious rutting going on soon, someone's in trouble."
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"Lemme get this straight... I MESS with the head o' the world's greatest telepath... I USE and ABUSE a junior X-man... I massage Braddocks' innards with my CLAWS... an' STILL you dweebs think I'm some kinda reclamation project. Heh. Who's in DENIAL, McCoy?"
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"You're not a salad. You're a meat dish."
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"There's only one reason good Christian girls go to Planned Parenthood."
"To plant pipe bombs?"
"Okay, two reasons."
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"We're talking about scrabble, not domestic abuse."
"Same thing."
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"She's Cute! She's Deadly! She's a Hologram!"
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"Your back attracts sheep like moths to a flame."
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Sithlord of comics
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"...I'm not familiar with the fact that intelligence and skinhead beliefs go hand in hand. The fact that these kids are neo-Nazis and ignorant, that's pretty much consistent for me."
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"It's the frickin' dragon. I'm going back to sleep."
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Excuse me, what does God need with a starship?
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"She cuts you hard, she cuts you deep, She's got so much skill She's so fascinating that you're still there waiting, When she comes back for the kill"
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You deserve no sympathy,
I will give you no pity,
And it serves you right.
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"You profaned a teddy bear."
"I did not. I just made him anatomically correct."
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"He's not fair. He fights with trees."
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"How much do you spend on an everyday bottle of urine?"
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"No biting."
"No gumming, either."
"You take all the fun out of being a vampire!"
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Verbing weirds language."
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"Was I drunk? Sometimes I'm a virgin when I'm drunk."
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"The deconstructionists tell us that nothing is real, but I've discovered one or two truisms about life. The first is, when attacked by a Volvo, take it seriously."
...
"Second truism: Volvo first impressions are generally correct."
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You shot me. I'm the God of War! Nobody shoots the God of War!!
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"Hey, loser... don't mess with the X-MEN. *Even* the little ones."
"'Specially the little ones."

Taxonomy of a Sociopath